The Black Woman's Affair With A "Dope Boy"

"It's only been three months and I already got it bad
So hood that I keep on coming back
My girlfriend's telling me I don't know how to act
But I'm telling them baby bye fall back
He's so good a he knows how to love me
But so hood and he's so heavy in the streets
He's my dude and you better get used to
o things
And I don't care what you say about me
They say

[Pre-Hook:]
That he does it with the best, runs a lil' less
Tatted on his chest (uh huh)
I like it (so what), I like it
And they say (that he's gonna hurt me)
Just wait and see (but they don't know me)
'cause I am what he wants his girl and I love it

[Hook:]
I can't leave 'em alone
I tried that good boy game
But the dope boy's Turing me on
It's just that he know what I want
So bad, I love that, I can't leave 'em alone
I can't leave 'em alone
I tried that game
But the dope boy's Turing me on
It's just that he know what I want
So bad, I love that, I can't leave 'em alone"-Ciara "Can't Leave Em Alone"

For my gossip blog, The Beatniks I found my way to a leak of Ciara's new single "Can't Leave Em Alone." As she is currently shooting a video for it, the picture above of her and 50 Cent surfaced to add, I don't know, street cred? In any case, everyone posted the song it seems like. That's fine but I chose not to because the message is quite possibly the dumbest most trite I've ever heard. Granted, Ciara is not the only one singing about this crap. A less talented and more vapid counterpart Brooke Valentine also did a song about being with a "dope boy." In fact, she sings about being a "dope girl" herself. You can listen to the swill song on her Myspace page.

Brooke Valentine is almost forgotten so I will leave it at that for her, but Ciara is not. Ciara has appeal to various races and cultures because she's a good performer and a good dancer. She's not the best singer but she has a knack for picking songs that are very becoming to her. She makes hits. While she's no Beyonce herself, I was a little disappointed that she brought herself to sing a song about dating a "dope boy." In that same song, she mentions how dating a "good" boy wasn't for her. He wasn't hard enough. What a message!

Let me get to the point. That type of song is irresponsible and asinine. Let me be real. The illegitimacy rate within the black community is at 65% to 70%. This means that there are a whole lot of African-American women raising children by themselves. The father is not in the picture. Author Juan Williams, in his book "Enough", attributed this to purposefully dating men they knew were no good. After reading these lyrics, I'm inclined to wonder and perhaps agree. I'm starting to question the belief that there are "no good black men out there." Maybe they've all gone in to hiding because black women seem to prefer these "dope boys?" If anyone disagrees, let me know! I want to get an open discussion going if this is the case.

Don't African-American women owe it to their children to pick the best man not the most materialistic? Aren't there repercussions for dating men like this? Last time I checked if a deal went wrong or someone thought you were skimming from the top, you would be killed or even worse, your family would be killed. So what's the appeal of a "dope boy?" Is a life waiting for him while he is in and out of prison really a life or is it a punishment?

I guess Ciara chose the high road by singing this song. I guess a song in which she openly states that a "dope boy" is too "hood" and not good enough for her doesn't pay the bills. I guess integrity and responsibility aren't "hood" enough either.

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