I'm Okay With Me: Keeping True To Yourself When Others Don't Understand You

Today I went to get some flat twists to have a rockin' afro for the fourth of July weekend. Yes! Twists are looking cute. Will add pics tomorrow. While there I was confronted with some "outsiders".

What you see on the blog is only half of what you really get when you meet me. It may sound cliche, but I'm a very complex person, but I am also extremely bubbly, "goofy", I laugh at many things, mostly myself. If I had to call myself anything I would call myself a contained, blue-hued fire.

People would say I have a bubbly personality. I would agree. When I tell people I'm shy/timid, they laugh at me because they don't believe this cantankerous person is that way. I am, I just am adept at pushing myself off the deep end and just doing it. Naturally, to some that can be a little weird. I think it's a Pacific Northwest thing.

The young ladies in there made a comment about how much "energy" I had, which surprised me because I was really stressed out about a case of allergies gone haywire and a chest x-ray that I was afraid would show that I'd truly fucked up after all these years of smoking.

She made a comment along the lines of me being this ball of fire/energizer bunny and that she needed a "break." Of course, I'm not droning on about work or anything. She asked questions, and I told her. So I was caught by surprise. I laughed, as I am so adept at doing. I figure it's code for "I can't keep up with you."


If you saw me in action, you would say that I'm the center of attention. Hold up. I don't mean it that way. Truly, I am not tooting my own horn. I just go all in, have a good time, laugh at myself and my misfortunes and blessings, and just crack jokes. I'm a storyteller. I like to make people laugh, even though I tell myself I'm not trying to, I do. Most times, I'm not trying, but whatever I worry about and fret about behind closed doors, I put my best attitude forward to the best of my ability. Some people get it, and some people don't. Did it hurt my feelings a bit? I'd be lying if I said it didn't. I wasn't trying to be "extra" or annoying. I was just being me. Sometimes it's hard to hear people make comments that kind of misunderstand you, classify you because it's easier to do that when met with someone they just don't "get", or make you feel awkward. Then I thought to myself, "Tone it down a bit. These people are obviously not on your frequency, so it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them."

A wise lady told me once to remember that God "knitted me" together in my mother's womb. He consciously put little old me together with all these crazy patterns that at first glance don't make sense, but when examined closely, they're an intricate patchwork of thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams and emotions. This hit me the hardest when she said this, "Think about it. He said when making you, 'I want a girl, just like (Slim) that is full of life, passion and tenacity."

That gave me perspective, so I wanted to share that with you. So what if you're a little different? So what if you feel like people don't get you, He gets you. He got you. He made you that way for a reason. He made you the way you are, because your purpose is important and you're presence is needed. If 99.99% of the population isn't with it, who cares? That .01% that is, are the only ones that really matter. Of course, if you are a serial killer or something crazy, you've taken a SERIOUS detour in life (lol), but you get my drift.

At the end of the day, I'll just chuck that commentary to being the story of my life. I'd like to get into the racial aspects of this comment at another time. I think that may have been a bit of a factor. It's also humbling. We all have times where we need to learn and be humbled a bit, so I'm humbled and reminded that I am not infallible and I am not going to be accepted everywhere I go. I think it builds character and confidence to hear these things sometimes.

How are you going to stay true to yourself, without naysayers trying to deny your "truth?" Nobody ever said it would be easy.

I accept myself because God designed me the way I am for a reason. He didn't want a quiet me. He didn't want a subdued, (openly) introverted person (I am a closeted introvert). He didn't want me to be meek or afraid to share, He wanted me to be me. Remembering that is the way I plan on staying true to myself. I can improve, and I can grow and mature, but there's nothing wrong with me. So many times, I've been told I should be more this, or more that. I should think this way, or that. I should feel, think and act a certain way. Self-acceptance is realizing that you are who you are, and you may not fit a mold, or be universally accepted or appreciated, but you appreciate yourself.

Do you have any instances where someone tried to make you feel inadequate?

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