"Take The Cornrows Out!" The Sound of Insecurity Projecting on Me...

Here are the pics I promised of the twists. They just barely touch my neck in the back, so I use hairpins to tuck them in. I like the effect I get with this design and the twists. It's like having a 3-D slicked back style.

Naturally, I'm loving it. Though, it is not the intended style. The intention is to do a twist out. I am taking these babies down today.

With that said, let me get to the background behind this post. On Thursday night, Mr. Slim and I went to a nightclub with a girlfriend. We don't get out often if at all, and we already had a hotel right around the corner. The outfit was GREAT! My work in the gym is paying off, my friend gave me fierce eye makeup, everything was going well. We decided to get a VIP section, and where there was one table left. We took it, but I could tell from my peripherals that the several black women there were already sizing us up. I mean, really. Is all of that really necessary? Hate or congratulate in your head, but keep it moving. It looks desperate. It looks like you're insecure when you do that.

We sat down and we're not paying attention to them. These women are truly unremarkable. I stood up to check on a girlfriend from behind the curtain, then I hear the largest one, with what appears to be a weave (and I am sure it was based on the style and volume), say "Take the cornrows out" to her friends. I hear that, and instantly I shoot them a look that is full of irritation and rage.

I sit down next to Mr. Slim and I tell him that the "expletive" (Yes, I called her that, and a lot worse, and I don't care) was talking "shit". See, I can be loud too, very loud. I have a loud voice without trying, so when I am trying, it blows. Naturally, I voiced my opinion about self-hating black women who are mentally still on the plantation, and would like you to join them. I'm not saying she should have liked them. I'm saying that taking issue with natural hair is self-hate.

Mr. Slim said something along the lines of not showing emotion because they win. Actually, they don't win. Living under the "Westernized Beauty" yolk, is a bitch. Trust me. I lived it. I refuse to go back.

I am tired of some black women walking around the place thinking that they can bully other black women by trying to use intimidation tactics, a loud ass voice, and some mean girl-isms. I am fed up about it. Like I told Mr. Slim, it is deeply personal for me. These "women" and "girls" are the same ones that give black women like myself a bad name. They are the same ones that ridicule your demeanor if it is not miserable and insecure like theirs. They are the same ones that laugh about someone's hair because it's not permed or weaved up. The same ones that have come to the conclusion that they are worthless, and want you to feel that way. If you don't think, and act, or talk like them, you must meet their ire, for they will not have anyone prove or corroborate just how sorry they are.

It is personal for me, because women like the oaf that demanded I take out my flat twists, are the same ones that make it difficult for my mother to walk anywhere without their snickering at her lowboy. They go on to procreate and teach their children self-hate. It is PERSONAL because that type of "COONERY" is a setback.

She had to defend her insecurity, obviously, or she wouldn't ask me to take my twists out. They looked good, and judging by the men that were staring at me, and sending death looks to Mr. Slim, I'm thinking I'm right about that. It takes balls to step out in a city like Seattle with that hairstyle, even more at a mostly black nightclub. She didn't have the "ingredients" so she decided to try to make me feel bad for having the ingredients. I realized that I was doing SOMETHING right because she felt so strongly about it. I can only imagine it must suck to live in such a tiny box, of one's own making.

In case you haven't noticed, Black women are suffering from a TRAGICALLY low self-esteem. Not all of us, but as a collective, Black women are not really "that into" themselves. It shows in their SUPPORT of a felon and abuser like Chris Brown, it shows in the untold billions they give to Koreans in the pursuit of hair products that will give them long, flowing hair down to their backs, regardless of the recession. It shows when Kanye West and other rappers can make negative statements time after time after time, and go unpunished. It shows when we can't uplift each other, and tear each other down because of INDIVIDUALITY.

I'm issuing a non-lethal FATWA on all black women who attack other black women to mask or defend their insecurities. It is 2009. Forget what your ignorant family members told you, to hell with what media and the entertainment industry tell you, to hell with what you're told to be. You can be you. You do not HAVE to wear that weave. You do not HAVE to talk a certain way, or date certain men. You can do and be whatever you want.

At the end of the night, she didn't say anything, nor did her friends. Why would they? It was patently clear from the beginning that they felt they had "lost" something, were just being sore "losers." But when you're happy with yourself, and comfortable in your skin, you're too busy with life being beautiful, to take anyone else down.

I think it was a number of factors at play. I don't think it helped that I was with a white guy either *lol*.

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