I received a heartbreaking note from a beautiful young lady in my Facebook fam. I've got to tell you, my heart went out to her because nobody should have to hear these things. I won't get into too much (because that's between me and her) but long story short, the negative comments from her family about her natural hair have taken their toll on her several times, and she's relaxed her hair several times as a result. She is currently sporting relaxed hair and wants to go natural, but is not wanting to deal with the negative (and unfounded) criticism--which includes saying she looks like a "slave", "dirty" and like "Frederick Douglass."
Why do we HATE our hair so damned much? What has it ever done to us? My hair is growing and healthy, and my curls/kinks/naps are one of my greatest joys. How black folks (men included) could hate their hair so much, is beyond me. I just can't understand hating something about ourselves that is so good and wonderful.
The only way this will change is if we start to let people know that their negative opinions will be met with some swift education
Here are some of the more "common" critiques, and here are some of my responses.
"Your hair would look so nice straightened!"
Response: "Really? You know, I was really thinking that maybe I should tr the damaged, broken hair look, with the receding edges. So fab..."
"You look dirty with your hair like that!"
Response: "I look dirty sporting the hair God gave me? Well, damn. Guess what, though! If I look dirty for being natural, you look like an idiot for being ignorant. Fair?"
"You look like a (insert black caricature or black historical figure hair/slave)!"
Response: "While you may find it insulting to look like one of our forefathers and foremothers, I'll take that as a compliment."
"There's this great texturizer that I can recommend to you."
Response: "Is it virgin coconut or jojoba oil? Yeah, no."
"Your hair would like better with curls instead of kinks."
Response: "Says who? You? My hair is fabulous jut as kinky as it is. Sorry you don't feel the same way. Actually, I'm not really sorry..."
"I mean, what can you do with your hair like that?"
Response: "Anything you can do, but my hair is healthier."
"Men aren't going to want to date you with your hair like that!"
Response: "Correction. I don't want to date men who don't like my hair like this."
"You look bald-headed [lowboy]!"
Response: "Oh, my God! My big, horse/yak hybrid wig must have fallen off! Seriously, though. Your powers of observation are AWESOME! Do you work for Scotland Yard too? No, really. The world needs your acute ability to observe and state the obvious. And guess what? I don't give a f*ck."
These are just my examples!
What's the DUMBEST/MOST NEGATIVE comment you've ever heard regarding natural hair in general, or your own natural hair? What was your response? How would you respond?
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